I should just give up. I woke up this morning and couldn't find the guts to get out of bed until 5:49 pm. My head felt like an ocean of ghosts were swimming around in there. They just wait up in there carrying my will to continue away from me. The ghosts carry the catalyst to my motionless infection away from me. I should just give up.
So here I am like a little girl again, watching the light on the walls shift from one end of the room to another. I watch the jaundice yellow light slip slowly over the back of the serpent of time. My only stimuli is in my ears, waiting for the minor infraction to pass away again to the tick ticking of the clock.
I'm not how I used to be. I used to be bright. I used to be wise. I used to be awake and adorably alive to the day. I used to fill the spaces of the corners of time with laughter and meaning. Now I am just waiting for a dollar. I'm living one day at a time senselessly and without reason. I'm living without love.
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