how?

I never should have left you
For a sea of cowards, and old friends
Trying, Kicking heroin, beating their brains.
Those old timers who were once daily faces and then faded away when we fell in love
Are back in the same night
And room
As I am.
I left you and now I have my life,
For myself. Wasted and mean.
Depreciating.
Junkies s
Come to
And realize they are sick.
They see what they are doing
But keep
Keep keep shooting up on clean days
And then
Take me up the 605 freeway
To score.
I never should have left you
To become a declination of what I used to be
When I used to be a good woman
For you, for me,
For my mother,
For our house and our home,
Our love and our fire.
I remember our fire
And can't remember now
Why I blew it out.
And now, look at me...
What am i ?
What am I
Without you
But a snake charmer
And a cruel vessel
Taking my pearls down with me
As I'm sinking.
I never should have left you
And what used to be our warm, happy home
With a working garbage disposal and a dog
We had a bedroom like summer most nights,
And the bathroom that synthesized our separate beings into one room of ritualistic morning toothpaste and clean hot water fogging up the mirror.
Your mother told me I'd regret it when I did this.
Your mother told me I'd regret this.
And now
Now that I've flown away
to everything away from you
I want to fly home
Back to good.
But you are going out with Lauren tomorrow and I am dope sick.
-Michelle